A Personal God

Over beers tonight Kristen asked me, “you used to be a Christian, what was it that you liked about it?”

The God of my youth was a very personal God. Jesus loved me in a very intimate and individual way. Not that He loved me more than everyone else, but there is some best part of me that strives to be just, fair and respectful to everyone. I don’t always manage to show that part of me, because of fear or anger or often just bad timing and lack of omniscience. God though could see the person that I wanted to be and cherished that person.

It’s been a while since I’ve known that God. It troubles me because it seems at times that everyone around me wants me to just do well enough to get by. I lose touch with that best part of me. I forget what it feels like to be loved for more than what I provide and, more importantly, I forget what it feels like to love people for more than what they provide me.

In my sense of separation, I forget that, as far as I can tell, the best in everyone else in the world is much like the best in myself.

A craftsman pulled a reed from the reedbed,
cut holes in it, and called it a human being.

Since then, it’s been wailing a tender agony
of parting, never mentioning the skill
that gave it life as a flute.

— Jelaluddin Balkhi (“Rumi”)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *