I’ve been contemplating whether or not I exist for the last couple days. It’s a strange question to attempt to answer. It seems like it has meaningful practical consequences for how I live my life though.
I’m into spirituality in a vaguely secular humanist kind of way. I have been writing for the last few years as a part of a process for mental development based out of combining cognitive psychology and assorted spiritualities. There’s no real structure other than a sort of relentless personal (and interpersonal) honesty.
It does seem to be doing something to me though. I seriously want to quit my job and spend all my time working on reducing the amount of poverty in the world. I’ve discovered I’ve got nothing against hard work, I do, however, absolutely hate wasting my time.
I still do it though. I still waste time and am mean and shallow and all sorts of other failings. There is some me though that does these things. There is some elemental force that strives to hope and create quality things even when the world at large doesn’t seem to give a shit.
Whatever this drive is, it doesn’t feel like it is just particular to me. It seems like everyone around me should have this same thing buried somewhere inside them. If I say I have a soul, then I am likely not the only one.
Do I trust in my desire to do good? Do I trust in it to the point that I believe it exists in everyone? Almost. I get closer and closer to that.
It’s a perspective that takes practice. I’ve got a few close friends who I treat with respect. It’s expanding it to people who irritate the shit out of me where it takes some real mental discipline. It does seem to be a sustainable perspective though — an attitude of hope.
When I manage to do it, it feels sustainable, if that makes sense. Like I can do it regularly if I just remember to do it. It’s that remembering part that’s the trick. ☺
4 comments ↓
Thanks for this post!
Nice and simple hope message
the idea that an given individual could possibly develop theories of the existance of the soul within days is completely illogical. The connections between individuals can be explained without the need for the concept of a soul. The similurities between anygiven individual and another is demonstrated by the level of genetic lack of diversity in the human race. The reasons for the lack of genetic diversity is due to the bottle neck in the human species.
It’s always interesting to debate the existence of the soul since, if you have no soul, the illusion of choice in your actions are simply the random interactions of your genetics and socialization (which are themselves random interactions).
You don’t exist in any meaningful way. There is no real actor present behind your actions. You’re like the groupings of soap bubbles in a tub of dishes — very complex and chaotic, but simply the interactions of a fixed system.
That we don’t have mathematical models to adequately to accurately express the chaos that drives your behavior doesn’t magically give you selfhood.
So I’m ok with you not existing. It seems naive to me that you can’t recognize the empirical proof of your capacity to choose, but if you’re happy and not doing anything to inconvenience the rest of the world, I don’t suppose it really hurts anything.
The only real downside is that most of the problems in the world aren’t from the few people doing bad, it’s from the masses who don’t recognize their capacity to change and do nothing.
The existence of the soul cannot be explained scientifically therefore it cannot exist to a scientist. It’s something you cannot see, hear, smell, touch or taste. But you feel it. Or can you feel it? There’s something there, what is it? What am i doing here? Why am i here? What purpose do i serve. What is this life force inside me that makes the choices for what i do in life. When my body dies, where does my life force go? Why does my body mass lose 21 grams when this life force inside me leaves my body. Feelings, thoughts, emotions, behaviour, mood, temperment, personality and disposition to me are all proof of the existence of the soul. I think its more than just the neurobiological explanation that human emotion is caused by neurochemicals. What is the thought process or driving force that orchestrates this complex chaotic symphony? Our Soul.
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