My First Kegstand

I’ve not been posting much as of late because my life has settled into an entertaining, but not terribly interesting routine. I work, go to the gym, party and sleep. That just about covers it. No new harrowing adventures to speak of.

This last weekend was more of the same, but it was fun and I’ve got pictures, so I thought I’d write about it a bit:


As a relatively recent arrival on the drunkard scene it has taken a concerted effort to achieve the amount of humiliation that I have in my short career. There are a few intricacies left to explore however. One of them being the staple of college binge drinking: the keg stand. As Friday was Kevin’s birthday, there seemed no better time to cross that off my list.

I’d never purchased a keg before. A little bit of research led me to Metro Ice here in DC. The costs associated with a keg are:

  • Yuengling Keg • $80 (+$10 deposit)
  • Tap Rental • $5 (+$50 deposit)
  • Tub Rental • $3 (+$20 deposit)
  • 120lbs Ice • $18

So all told, about $110 for 15.5 gallons of beer. At eight pints to the gallon that’s about $600 worth of beer in a bar. Even with people bringing bottles it was still half price. A keg of Killians, which is a better beer, was the same price, but they were sold out.

The party went well, I got to DJ which was fun. There were impromptu speeches, my favorite of which was likely Kevin’s impassioned reenactment of the final battle in Braveheart though Marc’s reading from Malcom X in a Samuel L. Jackson voice was a close second.

I did get to stand on my keg, as did everyone else there that night:


The thing about keg standing isn’t the beer, it is the not breathing while standing on your head. This made me a little grumpy.

grumpy Will

Other highlights included a near deathmatch and K and I being seen on the same stage dancing to Get Low for the first time ever!


Saturday was mostly devoted to recuperating until the evening when I headed out with McK to her friends’ for a birthday party. We went to dinner and then to see The Blue Show. This is the fourth improv group that I’ve been to see in DC and it was hands-down the best. It was a more adult show and though not completely vulgar, it definitely didn’t strive to avoid it.

Afterward we played some games and did some more drinking. It was here that I learned that, having alcoholics for friends has both developed and kept me from realizing a high tolerance. I tried to teach the group Celebrity but the game was called on account of one team passing out.

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