Singes

You know the game where you spin around in circles while holding your head on a baseball bat? At one time there was a government program where they trained an orangutan to play that game. It was a highly secret program and there are few records of it, but one can see clear evidence of it in that only staggering simian could have laid out the infernal rats’ nest that is the road system in DC. That or they taped a pen to a hamster and shot it up with massive quantities of meth.

I made it up from Tennessee in about seven hours even with my stop for an oil change, but then spent an hour wandering in circles trying to find Haydee’s. Once Happy Hour was over I gave up on trying to find the place and decided just to head to Cat’s.

On the cover of the Hitchhiker’s Guide it says, “Don’t Panic.” Critical advice for any traveler. I managed to spend another hour and forty-five minutes wandering around trying to find Cat’s. After much beeping, many forced on ramps and the closest I’ve come to tears in quite a while; I managed to make it. Tomorrow I brave the city again. I’m considering just renting a hotel room out here so I don’t have to face that damned mess again.

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