I was going to put this to a longer treatise, but I’m too busy and want to get it down.

Weekend before last, a bunch of us headed off the the desert oasis of Terjit to bid farewell to our education volunteers with some relaxing, dancing and boozing. I enjoyed myself generally, but I did not have a very successful drinking experience. I suppose that had my goal been catalepsy I was right on target.

I ended up in a heap over by the pool and my participation in the large scale nudity I hear took place later was only tangential in that I got my pictures taken with bare asses hovering over my slackened face. I wasn’t in a really bad spot so far as danger to my health or anything like that. I just missed the majority of the party and I was really disappointed in myself.

It has left me examining a bit my relationship to alcohol and how I deal with it. Given that I’d been drunk less that a dozen times before coming here, saying that I drink more now is not especially meaningful. I’d say I get intoxicated three or four times a month. I don’t drink very often when I’m not shooting to get at least a little drunk because I still don’t especially enjoy the taste of alcohol.

I’ve been sick and passed out four times in the last two years. All of those times were bigger parties. I have a bad habit of drinking anything that’s handed to me. It’s not a problem when I’m with a small group and everyone’s drinking about the same speed. When there are enough people that I can drift between different groups and do lots of different rounds of shots, I start to get in trouble. That’s a trend I’d not realized before Terjit and something I’m gonna keep an eye on in the future.

At one point I looked down upon alcohol as a crutch. All it does is lower inhibitions and why can’t I simply liberate myself? I’d say honestly that I still agree with most that basic premise. I’m not sure if I was completely confident if I’d want to drink or not. It is completely theoretical at this point since I’m not that guy and I’ve got to deal with the reality of being me. Does this make me less of a worthwhile person? Maybe.

To break the fourth wall, I was just wondering if any of you had anything insightful comments on drinking. Is it something that emotionally and spiritually mature people do?

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