Du Pop-corn

Lesson for the day on how to not make popcorn. First is a basic physical property: the burning point of butter is apparently lower than that at which popcorn pops. So, if you were to melt a lot of butter to use in the place of oil, it will burn and smoke regardless of how much you stir it.

Caramel popcorn is a really tasty dish. If you take a bunch of sugar and butter and popcorn, and dump them all together in a pot, after a while the sugar will start to brown and combine with the butter to make tasty caramel. The problem comes shortly thereafter. Imagine, if you will, what is now a sea of molten sugar. In this sea are little unpopped popcorn mines. As these mines are detonated they spray molten sugar all over the place. This whole concoction, as I mentioned before, is already nearly ready to catch on fire, so it has to be continually stirred. With something like kettle corn, it is stirred with a three foot long stick so as to avoid the flying sugar. If you are working in a more traditional environment, you are stirring with your hand about six inches above the flying sugar. My arms look like I got in fight with a little tiny army that attacked me with miniature shrapnel grenades. I’ve got little blisters all over my hands because I was too stubborn to stop stirring just because it hurt like hell. I solaced myself with lots of screaming and cursing; something of a theme as of late.

The secondary problem though is that the popped popcorn cools down and causes the caramel to get tacky. As this happens the unpopped kernels start to stick to the popped stuff and you end up with a mass of a little popcorn and lots of kernels. So, lots of pain and an inedible product. Go me. ☺

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *