The dispensations are off to a less than stellar start…

In the name of “protein loading” Marc and I had a meat party. He brought some chorizo that came fresh from Spain with some volunteers. I brought corned beef and tuna from a new Chinese supermarket that just opened. These combined with some pilfered cheese and mayonnaise made for some tasty sandwiches.

Unfortunately we only ate about a third of the corned beef and the house where we were invading was rapidly becoming permeated with the scent of potted meat. To remedy the situation I decided to try and finish the rest of the block off. We were out of bread, so I just set into it with some mayo and a fork. I managed to make it about halfway before I remembered the diet bit and just went and threw it away.

The fun part was yet to come though. From the meat party we set out to the gym to put our newly acquired protein to work. The last time I was in a gym was probably June; June 2003. For the record, a meat party is not the best preparation for an end to a two year gym sabbatical.

About 15 minutes in my body tabled a motion. “I move that we cover this place with corned beef and chorizo,” it said. “Interesting æsthetic choice,” I responded, “but I suspect the management might not appreciate it.” “Boors, c’mon, you and I have vision. It will really liven this place up.”

In the end I was only able to stave it off with a filibuster of “donthrowup, donthrowup, donthrowup, donthrowup, donthrowup…” chanted for about five minutes while sitting on the floor. I think that everyone was better off with the only color I added to the place being the disturbing shade of green I took on while exercising my mantra.

I did do a little lifting though. I can’t really start anything serious though because the gym is going to close for a month starting on the 15th for Ramadan. I suppose it’s meilleur que rien, n’est pas?

Lent is a period celebrated primarily by Catholics and beginning 48 days before Easter. It begins with Ash Wednesday, the day after Shrove Tuesday aka Mardi Gras. The period is really 40 days long to line up with other biblical periods of purgation like Jesus’ desert sabbatical, Noah’s flood and Moses’ search for Canaan. Not being made of the same stuff as biblical heroes, we mere morals get Sundays off, therefore 48 days.

Easter is scheduled for the Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox (the first day of spring). The Western church takes the equinox to be March 21. (The Eastern Orthodox does not necessarily and doesn’t always have the same date for Easter.)

Presidents’ Day (which is really Washington’s Birthday) is the third Monday in February.

This year the lineup of these holidays will be:

• Ash Wednesday • February 9
• “Presidents’ Day” • February 21
• Easter • March 27

“Why,” I can hear you thinking, “do we care?”

Well, traditionally Catholics recognize Lent by not eating meat on Fridays and being more charitable. This is, in my opinion, both too easy and boring. Since I’m a philosophical Taoist and not Catholic I like to make up my own disciplines better suited to my needs. Highlights from the past have included:

• No caffeine
• Daily meditation
• 20 days without talking
• No masturbation
• No profanity

Last year’s was interesting: no speaking English to French speakers. (I live in a francophone country, so most everyone speaks French.) Given the wretched state of my French I spent a lot of time in silence and perfecting my hand gestures.

As to why this eccentricity matters as to the occurrence of Presidents’ Day; in a word WAIST: the West African International Softball Tournament. I’ve mentioned this before this is a big event here; literally the social event of the year. You’ve played on team before and you’re out there playing and cheering and having fun. Ok, for three solid days, do that with 40 or so people that you’ve grown really close to through shared tribulation (like being thrown in the desert and expected to survive). For every night go out to parties and dancing. On top add being put up in cushy expat houses which have luxuries such as breakfast cereal and cheese. All in all it makes for an amazing weekend.

WAIST is held Presidents’ Day weekend. This year Presidents’ Day falls within Lent. My current plan is to do the whole no English bit again, at least for the weekends. As much fun as spending all my time in silence would be, I’d rather not. Enter the dispensations…

I’m not going to just take the weekend off. I’m a fan of actions having their consequences and me having to adapt to meet them. Just taking the weekend off means that I was presented with something challenging and I responded by making my my task less difficult. Nothing inherently wrong with that except that I’m doing it in the first place for the growth that comes from the challenge, so taking the easy way out is counter productive. At the same time I think being completely inflexible and just making myself speak French is not the right solution either.

So, I’m going to set up a challenge that, if met, grants me a dispensation for the weekend. Since last year nearly killed me physically I figure I want to make it a physical challenge. So, I’ve decided on two options, either of which will take serious work:

• Be at 10% or less body fat (I’m at 16% currently, so lose 12lbs of fat)
• Be able to bench press more than my weight (I’m really weak right now and can bench about 100lbs, I weigh 177lbs)

So, there is is. I have a goal now…