re: sadness as a commodity

I don’t feel emotionally vulnerable, just kind of pointlessly used in an emotional way. She’s not benefiting because I’m sad; she’d be just as well off or better if I were happy. I put down my horn and stopped practicing early because I no longer had energy into my playing. What is this sadness. Why does it act like it does?

I am not sure if I quite understand your perspective on sadness. Is sadness something to be avoided? It is natural I think to feel a sense of sorrow in response to certain things.

Is there a difference is what you are calling sadness and sorrow? I am responding to this as a person who has difficulty being open to emotional experiences. Often when I am feeling sad it is not that I am experiencing a genuine sense of sorrow but that I am in a funk caused by stifling genuine emotion. In being unwilling to feel deeply I end up backing things up inside and I feel sad. It doesn’t feel productive though; not like a real sense of loss or mourning. It just sort of hangs there.

It is a very kinesthetic sort of picture for me and I don’t think I am communicating it well. Does it make sense?

I thought of it in part because you talk about a lack of energy and that is something that often accompanies it for me.

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