Archive for August, 2000

n: addendum to S's fantasy journal

Just to clarify, she mentions an incident with a tree at the end of the journal and being to scared of jumping to make herself jump. Since I was standing up and the top of my head was under the branch then she was certainly more than 3 feet off the ground (I having been more than 3 feet high for quite a long time now.) =)

What she is doing is taking those long legs of hers into account and granted with them she was somewhere between 3.5 – 4 feet off the ground, her head on the other hand was at least 9.

It was a really neat experience for me. When I was helping her I was being supportive and putting myself out there in ways that I haven’t before and when she didn’t jump I was surprised to find that I wasn’t disappointed; it was enough for me that she had tried as hard as she could. I expected less from myself.

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j: religion

I have been thinking alot about religion aver the last couple of days and what it means in my life. The structures that I am trying to put down are all complicated and it is broken down into a set of substructures that relate to the others. I get the feeling that there is some common theme running behind them all, but I can’t quite see it yet.

I am going to try and write about the different parts of it all and see if I can maybe capture some of the parts and then show how they all stick together. The one most prominent in my mind right now has to do with the nature of man.

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re: S

she hasn’t written be yet. i told her to write me…

Her family is in the process of moving from one apartment to another and has been doing so for the last 3 days or so. Apparently her father is doing very little to help she and her mother move which is making it more difficult physically and psychologically. She commented that it bothered her that the only bonding she and her mother are doing is in common opposition to her father. I suspect that this is the reason that she hasn’t gotten back to you yet. When I mail her a little later I’ll ask her about how it is going with the RLT. That is the only writing that you asked her to do that she has mentioned to me.

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re: alcohol one last time

I think that I have also perhaps misunderstood the intent of the posts. I took all of the posts to be in reply to Clark’s one e-mail about a party that went on at his house. That, as an isolated incident, is no basis for a pattern of alcohol consumption.

I think though that H and E both were responding to an issue based on a larger set of data points out of their personal interactions with certain people. I was responding to their writing as a blanket statement against the consumption of alcohol but I think that they are better taken as statements against alcohol abuse which I am no big fan of either.

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Cor] Re: to E on control and drinking

I would try to argue against E’s statement that people who claim to be able to control their alcohol consumption are delusional,

i don’t think i said all.. did i?

To quote:

“i know how to hold my liquor/i know when to stop drinking/i know how to stay in control when i’ve had a few drinks AND these other people don’t know what i know”

to me, that sounds a hell of a lot like a bright neon advertisment for alcoholism-in-the-making.

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re: alcohol problems

Well, I remember the last time that this topic came up and I remember writing about it then and not feeling especially productive. I haven’t much higher of hopes now, but I can feel the little strings being pulled in me calling me to stand up for a position that I think is being unfairly rallied against.

First my experiences as of late with alcohol. I have quite fortunately had a run in not more than a week ago and a pleasant one at that. As most of you know school started back this week and in expectation of that S came down and stayed with me for a week before starting back. On Friday we went up to Morristown and hung out with Wayne for a couple of days and during that time we all got semi-intoxicated. We sat around and laughed at stupid stuff and played games and then went to bed. It was fun.

The time before that wasn’t as much fun. It was my 21st birthday party (I am pretty sure that is the previous time, my memory isn’t want it once was) and I drank while not in an especially good mood and wandered outside to sit on the porch and bemoan world hunger to S. =)

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process.com

I figured I’d let you all know that AA moved my process.com over to the honors account for people to use. Unlike most of the ones floating around right now you have a list of names in a file called pnames.dat and it uses those instead of having to edit the program to add things. I did away with the stupid max_names variable a long time ago, but I saw one with that in it floating around the other day. How icky. =) Like it’s predecessors it handles the process name menu as well as the randomizer in addition to processes on the command line or it will prompt you for one if all else fails. I don’t think I have seen any others that do quotes right. =)

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for: to brett on getnames

My little brother sent me a message asing about what a who.com was little suspecting my long winded reply. It covers some of how the program works though and I thought some of you might be interested so I’m passing it on.

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re: S's Family

anger things usually blow over, but you are right.

That’s the thing. These anger things have been getting steadily worse and worse over the last few months and they are beginning to reach a point where things are starting to break down.

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Moving S

S is having a very hard time at home right now and is strongly considering dropping out of school and moving to Alabama to be with me. I have been around her when she has been with her parents and I have seen both how they treat her and how they are affecting her. Right now I think that it would be a good idea for her to leave that house, but the issues are much more complicated than just her leaving. She has not only herself to think about but also the lives of her mother, 10 year old brother and autistic 16 year old brother who will be hard pressed to make it without her. Her father is also there though from S’s prespective (and I am inclined to agree though her parents act differently when I am around) he is much more a part of the problem than a part of the solution.

All that I know right now is that she is hurting very much and is stuggling against a very difficult home life. That and I can see very well that my issues with my father make me very reluctant to forgive her parents much. I think that the clear part of me agrees with the angry part of me on what to do but I would really like some more perspective and these issues are very rapidly coming to a head. Her mother today told he that she was going to kick her out (though there is no way that her mother can work and care for her autistic brother without her, but such is the foresight of anger.)

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