sj: =)

I rarely wrote except to express my frustration or disappointment over something. Or perhaps the wax philosophical for a bit. It is truly rare for me to write and say how cool things are but yesterday was an especially cool day and I want to say a couple of words.

Yesterday I was due to come back with Amy at around 3:00 but it turned out to be her father’s birthday so she decided to wait a day. This left me all packed up with no place to go. So I was contemplating my fate out loud and my mother suggested that I go to the theatre. There is a place called the Barter Theatre in Abingdon, VA which does pretty fancy theatre, not just a bunch of people getting together and putting on a play (well essentially it is as it seems that is the only way it could be =) I am trying to make a point about the professionalism.) =)

Anyhow, I had been going to have a friend come and visit and she was due to come by about 6:00 but she was late and it struck me that there was another girl who I hadn’t seen in a really long time that I would really like to see.

Umm, to give some history since this is getting muddled. The first person who was coming over but was late is Erin. She is a friend from high school but the guy who she is involved with (and contemplating marriage to and living with) is sick and she didn’t want to go to the play because she wanted to get back to him.

The girl who I called on the off chance that she would be home is L my involvement with whom is very long, very complicated, very melodramatic, and very painful.

There have been in the course of my life two girls who have really done it for me; lit my fire; caught my eye; whatever. L is one of those and even though I haven’t seen her in a long while I still really like her. I called her house last night and it turned out that she just happened to be in for the weekend from Knoxville and had gotten in a couple of hours before and she did in fact want to go to see the play.

I was, too say the least, exuberant. I went running and dancing around the house having a big ol’ time. On the rare occasions that I am around a girl that I really like I get positively giddy. I really wonder what it would be like to go out with a girl that I feel like that around. I never have.

So, we went to see “Golf with Alan Sheppard” which was a really neat play. I laughed alot at it. There was lots of comedy dealing with aging and death. I liked it. There were parts where it started to take a more serious turn but it didn’t really make it, but other than that it came off very well. The actors were very skilled.

I was too good at the guessing alot though. There were several times when I started laughing about 5 seconds before the rest of the audience because I would finish the joke for the person and figure out the punchline and start laughing before the joke had even been told.

After the play we went to a little bakery and sat and talked for a while. I really liked it. I was thinking about why later on and part of it at least has to do with a similarity in thinking styles. Wayne for instance shares similarities in his pattern of thinking with me and we communicate well because of it. When it comes to the realm though of emotion we have definite differences. There are commonalities emotionally between L and I. I really like talking to her and listening to her.

After the bakery closed we left and went to a resterant that was open all night and talked more. It was just a really good experience. I kept wanting to tell her that I liked her but it was too scary.

It just seems so impractical; she lives in Knoxville and has a life there. I live in Cookeville and have my own life too. I really enjoy being with her but I wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice what I have in Cookeville socially and professionally and she wouldn’t either. The distance just seems too big a problem to be overcome.

That saddens me. There are three things that top my list of qualities for a woman right now; awareness, intelligence, and self-consciousness and she has them all (to varying degrees.) I worry that the world is filled with vapid people and that I am doomed to never find someone who I am really compatible with.

That however is the material for another more depressing journal. =) Today is a happy day. =)

Thank you for listening.

Love Will

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