letter to J

I have a bit of a problem. I got a letter from J a couple of days ago that I really think I need to respond to, but I don’t know what to write.

Here’s the letter:

hey sweets. I was just wondering if you even existed anymore. Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in so long. You’ll have to write to this address, please let me know if you live. 🙂 (())


What the hell am I supposed to write? I was talking to my mom about this and she said that I should send this message:


and that’s all. =) My mom isn’t particularly fond of J. Mainly because we go running at the dam at least four times a week and after we go up we often walk back down and we talk about stuff, so she’s got to hear lots of my stories about how going out with J frustrated me.

I don’t want to do that though. Actually this message from her was really nice; I was looking back through my messages I haven’t been able to find another one that had that simplicity. I was expecting (and half hoping) that when she sent me a message it would have more accusations in it and it would be defensive. That would be alot easier to deal with; I could just say that I was tired of her acting like this and I thought that she should just make a new go of everything out in California.

But with this it is harder to say those things, maybe she has changed. I think that people should be responsible for their actions, but once they have changed I strongly believe in forgiveness.

Really I guess the essential question is where do we go from here. I am not interested in continuing a relationship with her, California or not. But I don’t want to hurt her. I really don’t think that she was really aware of what she was doing. What can I say to her to explain my decision? She cannot she how defensive she was; my points would make no more sense to her than telling a blind person about the sunset.

I just really don’t know what to say. I could go into what I thought about how our relationship went, but I don’t know if that would do any good. Really, it’s been almost three months, and I’ve done alot of talking and I just want to be done with this. I don’t know what to do in relation to J, I never really understood what she wanted in the first place, and I don’t know how to relate to her now. I just want this to be over.

But, I won’t start whining, as attractive as that option is. =)

Anyone have any suggestions?


P.S. One other thing, I have a very non-touchy family, so I’ve not been getting my RDA of physicality, so (()). Thanks. =)

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